Reasons Couples Avoid Parenting
Written by Staff
The terrible twos, constant messes, and busy schedules are some of the few things that may make me think twice about having kids. It just hurts me a little bit to think of a space that can’t be deep cleaned for at least six years or loud crying in the middle of a restaurant. Some couples and individuals live for this and eat up every second of their child’s upbringing — tantrums, toys, and all. However, some people prefer not to have kids, and it’s becoming a more and more popular decision among young people today. I want to highlight some of the real, bonafide reasons to remain childfree. And if this is something you’ve never considered, we, here at Childfree By Choice, encourage you to read through and keep an open mind.
First and foremost, if there’s anything I have learned, it’s that this decision is thoroughly thought out. It seems familiar for older individuals to assume that some young people will settle down when they hit their 30s or even their 40s and suddenly decide to have kids. This doesn’t seem to be the case with the people we’ve conversed with. It appears that the decision to remain child-free is well-thought-out and curated, just as the decision for a couple to have children is planned and thoroughly thought through prior.
One of the most significant reasons some couples choose to remain childless is due to infertility. About 15% or close to 50 million couples cannot have children or struggle to conceive. This is a heartbreaking truth for many couples, and while there are many supplements, treatments, and even procedures to be tried, none are a guarantee. In fact, not only are these treatments not guaranteed, they can cost thousands of dollars and many, many hours. To some, it isn’t worth all of the added stress. The concept of adoption of being a foster parent is excellent, but for many couples facing infertility, grieving the loss of a biological child is too difficult to incorporate another. It also can be too much of a commitment when individuals think that door has been closed.
Another viable reason some adults choose to live a childfree lifestyle is due to their family history. When a person has a traumatic childhood, it can be overwhelming to try to do better, especially since some individuals may not feel that they learned enough from their own parents’ or guardians’ successes and failures to justify bringing a child into the world. Also, the shortcomings of a parent can leave a lasting negative impression, and it can bring fears in the form of “What if I’m no better?”. For some individuals, the risk of harming their children or being less than the ideal mom or dad outweighs any reward. Also, genetics play a part in this decision. Individuals who know their or their spouses’ genes are unstable may not want to risk having a child with a severe congenital disability or disability that may run in the family. Not to mention the risk of hereditary illnesses that come with age.
This last reason that we’ve chosen to spotlight is becoming increasingly more popular amongst young people. Freedom is a big reason for individuals deciding on a childfree lifestyle. The freedom to go where you want when you want. Want to take a long weekend and hop on a plane to salsa in Spain? Or want to go to an adults-only resort in the Caribbean? That’s your choice and one of the appeals of a childfree lifestyle. A few others are not having to buy baby clothes or participate in back-to-school shopping. Or the freedom to do one load of laundry per week and not have to pick up toys strewn across every room daily. The option to be unattached for an additional 17 years of your life may be too good to pass up, and it’s not selfish.
Showing others that a childfree lifestyle is good for certain relationships, the environment, and even the future is important to change our society’s conversation. Choosing not to have children is an option for anyone who wants it, and we’re here to help connect you with procedures that can help you reach your goals. Being a parent is a beautiful but challenging thing. So, if a person is leaning towards a childfree lifestyle, they must look inward and decide their reasoning. After all, it’s your choice!
